Today was Katelyn’s missionary Farewell. She did such a wonderful job on her talk! She spoke about her journey of gaining a testimony and the doubts, trials, and challenges she went through in the process and how she was able to rely on the help of her Savior to lift her through this. It was very touching and real and many people appreciated her honesty and loved what she had to say. I felt the Spirit testify of her words. Katelyn didn’t want a big open house today, so we just had a nice family dinner and family time today—which I thought was WONDERFUL!! It was nice to have a together day just with family! Shelby, Brent and Conner also came for lunch and spent the rest of the day here with us too. We visited and played games and just relaxed. Later on, President Worlton came over and gave Katelyn a beautiful blessing to set her apart as a full time missionary! She is now official!! Brooke wrote down notes of some of the blessings and promises—very neat things that were said! After, we just visited as a family for quite a while! Katelyn starts the Home MTC tomorrow bright and early!!
Here are Brooke's notes from the blessing:
Great joys will be yours as you serve in this part of the vineyard, there are people God is preparing, your testimony and foundation will remain sure, as you study in the scriptures--words of the prophets will come when you need them, you will feel the fire and enthusiasm for the gospel, blessed with the spirit of obedience and that you will see great miracles and the hand of the Lord, this is His work and He will walk with you, your testimony and foundation will broaden, if you are founded on Christ you will be able to stand, you will grow spiritually, you will develop into a great leader, use your talents and blessings you find in the mission to bless family and home, blessed to be directed in where to go and what to do and who to testify to, your testimony will influence others you leave behind, blessed with power in the truth to speak boldly and testify of the truths of the gospel, witness that truth seep into souls, blessed with humility and patience to see others the way the Savior sees them, blessed with hope and faith as you face trials and that your diligence will pay off.
Here is Katelyn's Farewell talk given today: Mission Farewell Talk:)
So, I must confess that the last talk I gave at college came down to the midnight before my 9am church. Some of my hallmates also shared this struggle and, due to some pretty timely and much needed revelation that came at 12:30 in the morning, we all agree that the holy ghost does not go to bed at midnight. However, I can proudly say I did not procrastinate as much for this talk:) For those new faces in the audience, I am Kate Freeman, Bill and Mindy Freeman’s daughter and I was called on February 1st to serve a mission for the people in South Carolina!
There are many things that I have learned about service from the gospel and the family and friends that have been such good examples to me. Today, I want to focus on how my testimony has grown through personal doubts and struggles, and how learning how to trust God and His love through them has and will help me understand and aid others in their journey towards those saving ordinances and covenants that bring so much comfort and reassurance in this life.
On the day I got my mission call, my grandma passed away. It was a roller coaster of emotions and uncertainty. For the first time in my life, I had to truly look inside myself and my testimony to know if she was happily in heaven. Many people talk about struggling with their testimony their first year at college, and it’s something you really don’t get until you are there. For me, a lot of questions arose about the church. I became pessimistic in my determination to strengthen my relationship with God. I forgot to recognize all the blessings and comfort I have received in my life because of the gospel. I focused too much on the aspects of church culture that I disagreed with and felt went against what Christ taught. My testimony was at a low. But experience told me that I couldn’t go back to that same testimony I had before because my perspectives had changed. I opened up to a friend and we had a really good conversation about doubts, and she said something along the lines of God wanting us to change and grow in ways we didn’t think we would and that we are supposed to explore our beliefs, not ignore disagreements we have with them. We wound up listening to the song “flying” by Cody Fry which I highly recommend you all listen to! The lyrics really resonated with me, so I am going to use them throughout this talk as a guide to how my testimony has grown and changed to make me better able to share this beautiful gospel in South Carolina.
The first verse and chorus read:
Where did my wings go?
I could've sworn I could fly
Straight up into the sky
Boy, I should have known
It was all just a lie
No one on earth can fly
Thought the things you said would turn out true
Guess that's what I get for trusting you
You said if I believed enough, that I would fly
Why didn't I?
I think a lot of us can relate with these words the more experiences we have that are hard and uncomfortable. It’s easy to feel betrayed when revelation we received and promises we made to God doesn’t give back what we expected. There are many people in my personal life that have given their all to God and their lives seemed no better for it. Why didn’t they fly? Joseph Smith’s suffering in Liberty jail is one of many examples where belief and faith seemed to fail him. Liberty jail was cold and filthy. All of Joseph’s family and loved ones were being driven out of Missouri in the middle of a cruelly bitter winter without adequate provisions. Joseph Smith could barely stand, so how could he ever fly when the ceiling literally pressed down on him and his friends? As the bitter winter beat down on Joseph and the early church, bitter skepticism beat down on me as I asked myself if this church really made me happy, or if I was just too afraid to see the consequences if it didn’t. If I was being obedient and faithful, why did so many others with different beliefs seem better off than me? Why wasn’t I flying? How can faith lift me up when I feel like it barely shows me where I’m going? Christ was there with me as He is with all of us as I suffered with these questions. I still believed in Him and that He loved me, but I still struggled with whether that faith was all that it was cracked up to be.
The second verse says:
Did faith let me down
Or did I not have enough?
That distinction is tough
Still, I thought your hands
Protected me from the fall
Did you mean that at all?
I Thought the things you said would turn out true
Was it even you I listened to?
I thought if I believed enough that I would fly
Joseph Smith rephrases this sentiment in D&C 121: 1 and 6, which reads: “O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covered thy hiding place? Remember thy suffering saints, O our God.” When going through trials, many of us question our faith; whether we have enough or if it let us down. I felt this as I was struggling with my testimony and whether I should really serve a mission if I had such doubts. I didn’t see just how much God’s hands were truly there. My friend used an analogy in one of her talks at BYU that has stuck with me. She said when seeking revelation or guidance, God usually uses cotton balls opposed to hammers. It’s much harder to feel a cotton ball being thrown at you than a hammer, and thankfully less painful. But it’s even harder to see and feel those cotton balls of guidance when our backs are turned. Eventually I started to truly look for the cotton balls in my life. Though it was still hard, I began to realize and remember little miracles that God knew I needed to keep me going and reassure me that a mission was where I needed to be. One such little miracle happened on the day I got my mission call. My sister and I went into the gazebo by the Provo city center temple for me to open it privately before a bigger opening that night. We had just found out that my grandma was in the hospital, so we were already emotional. There was only one other person there besides us and I remember feeling something special about this stranger. After I read my mission call out loud, the girl told me that she had served in that exact mission! It was cool to hear in that moment and especially after because God knew that little experience was what I needed to be comforted in my decision. The temple also became a huge help as I received personal revelation about many specific aspects of my mission that have further reassured me that at least one person there needs me and my unique experiences to bring them closer to Christ. I have seriously questioned many times whether I should still serve a mission despite these experiences, and up to maybe a week ago, I still felt unsure, but these simple and small miracles had a huge impact on me and my commitment to dive deeper into God’s plan. I still had doubts, but my hope and relationship with Christ was increasing. However, I still didn’t feel like I was flying and if I couldn’t fly, the jump would be terrifying.
The second to last part of the song says:
Air is rushing past, and I can barely see
Seems like this fall will be the death of me
In a second now, the ground will come to take me home
Suddenly, a peace that I cannot explain
Feels like the wind is running through my veins
Oh, and all that I can do is close my eyes as you lift me up
You lift me up
I know that God has always been there for me and that he loves and cares for all of us and our choices. I have felt the most comfort through Jesus Christ after the hardest and lowest times and I can honestly say that my unique struggles have helped me trust and come closer to Christ. My doubts and questions forced me to break down my faith so that I could build it up stronger. The peace described in these lyrics is so tangible that when one experiences it, there can be no doubt. This is the peace I hope I can help others experience. I remember very special times, good and bad, when I felt this peace, especially recently with my grandma who I believe is serving her own special mission in heaven alongside me. After Joseph Smith’s desperate plea for Gods help, Heavenly Father offers this well-known calm and comfort:
7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment.
8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes. (Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8)
God may not always offer answers or solutions, especially with the tumult of opinion these days, but he will always, always provide comfort and peace to help us get through and learn from our decisions. He gives the ability to conquer our foes in whatever form they take. In one of my own desperate pleas for help and guidance recently during one of my spirals of uncertainty, I heard these words echoing in my mind: “I love you in or out” In that moment it really hit me that God loves me whether I’m in this church or out of it, in success and failure, in faith or unbelief. This truly unconditional love brought me to be even more devoted to this gospel because I know that His love for all of us, no matter our views, is what this church teaches. We make covenants and promises because we trust and love Him back. I thought about my grandma reuniting with my grandpa in heaven after a difficult and joyful life as I heard the last part of the song:
All that I know now is sky and cloud
Don't know when my feet last touched the ground
You said if I believed enough, I would fly.
I will close with saying that we need the falls just as much as being able to fly. Adam fell that men might be and we are that we might have joy. Joy. Life is a journey in which we need to struggle and grow as we travel through it trusting God. I am super stoked to share the joy I have in Christ with others who want to feel that same happiness, whether they share all my beliefs or not. I hope to grow in many more unique ways as I serve and learn from the perspectives of those I teach and serve alongside. I don’t want to just bring converts; I want to bring friends and sinners and strugglers to this gospel because that is what it’s all about. In or out, God loves us and wants us to find Him, His truth, and our ultimate joy. Struggles and uncertainty can bring us closer to Heavenly Father in new and stronger ways if we let Him in and come to know ourselves more clearly.
I am so incredibly grateful for my family, ward family, and friends that have led me to where I am today. Y’all, as southerners would say, have really taught me so much and I couldn’t be speaking without all your examples and guidance. Many of you have lifted me up in ways you could never know, and I hope I can pass that on to others. To my parents and family, I love you so much and I am especially thankful for you being with me throughout my entire life, the good and bad, big and small. As 1 John 4:18 states: There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear. I have felt your perfect love teach me courage, hard work, kindness, and much more. I will take this love to those in South Carolina and hopefully, in return, maybe I can come back with that awesome southern accent!
(Testimony) In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Here are Brooke's notes from the blessing:
Great joys will be yours as you serve in this part of the vineyard, there are people God is preparing, your testimony and foundation will remain sure, as you study in the scriptures--words of the prophets will come when you need them, you will feel the fire and enthusiasm for the gospel, blessed with the spirit of obedience and that you will see great miracles and the hand of the Lord, this is His work and He will walk with you, your testimony and foundation will broaden, if you are founded on Christ you will be able to stand, you will grow spiritually, you will develop into a great leader, use your talents and blessings you find in the mission to bless family and home, blessed to be directed in where to go and what to do and who to testify to, your testimony will influence others you leave behind, blessed with power in the truth to speak boldly and testify of the truths of the gospel, witness that truth seep into souls, blessed with humility and patience to see others the way the Savior sees them, blessed with hope and faith as you face trials and that your diligence will pay off.
Here is Katelyn's Farewell talk given today: Mission Farewell Talk:)
So, I must confess that the last talk I gave at college came down to the midnight before my 9am church. Some of my hallmates also shared this struggle and, due to some pretty timely and much needed revelation that came at 12:30 in the morning, we all agree that the holy ghost does not go to bed at midnight. However, I can proudly say I did not procrastinate as much for this talk:) For those new faces in the audience, I am Kate Freeman, Bill and Mindy Freeman’s daughter and I was called on February 1st to serve a mission for the people in South Carolina!
There are many things that I have learned about service from the gospel and the family and friends that have been such good examples to me. Today, I want to focus on how my testimony has grown through personal doubts and struggles, and how learning how to trust God and His love through them has and will help me understand and aid others in their journey towards those saving ordinances and covenants that bring so much comfort and reassurance in this life.
On the day I got my mission call, my grandma passed away. It was a roller coaster of emotions and uncertainty. For the first time in my life, I had to truly look inside myself and my testimony to know if she was happily in heaven. Many people talk about struggling with their testimony their first year at college, and it’s something you really don’t get until you are there. For me, a lot of questions arose about the church. I became pessimistic in my determination to strengthen my relationship with God. I forgot to recognize all the blessings and comfort I have received in my life because of the gospel. I focused too much on the aspects of church culture that I disagreed with and felt went against what Christ taught. My testimony was at a low. But experience told me that I couldn’t go back to that same testimony I had before because my perspectives had changed. I opened up to a friend and we had a really good conversation about doubts, and she said something along the lines of God wanting us to change and grow in ways we didn’t think we would and that we are supposed to explore our beliefs, not ignore disagreements we have with them. We wound up listening to the song “flying” by Cody Fry which I highly recommend you all listen to! The lyrics really resonated with me, so I am going to use them throughout this talk as a guide to how my testimony has grown and changed to make me better able to share this beautiful gospel in South Carolina.
The first verse and chorus read:
Where did my wings go?
I could've sworn I could fly
Straight up into the sky
Boy, I should have known
It was all just a lie
No one on earth can fly
Thought the things you said would turn out true
Guess that's what I get for trusting you
You said if I believed enough, that I would fly
Why didn't I?
I think a lot of us can relate with these words the more experiences we have that are hard and uncomfortable. It’s easy to feel betrayed when revelation we received and promises we made to God doesn’t give back what we expected. There are many people in my personal life that have given their all to God and their lives seemed no better for it. Why didn’t they fly? Joseph Smith’s suffering in Liberty jail is one of many examples where belief and faith seemed to fail him. Liberty jail was cold and filthy. All of Joseph’s family and loved ones were being driven out of Missouri in the middle of a cruelly bitter winter without adequate provisions. Joseph Smith could barely stand, so how could he ever fly when the ceiling literally pressed down on him and his friends? As the bitter winter beat down on Joseph and the early church, bitter skepticism beat down on me as I asked myself if this church really made me happy, or if I was just too afraid to see the consequences if it didn’t. If I was being obedient and faithful, why did so many others with different beliefs seem better off than me? Why wasn’t I flying? How can faith lift me up when I feel like it barely shows me where I’m going? Christ was there with me as He is with all of us as I suffered with these questions. I still believed in Him and that He loved me, but I still struggled with whether that faith was all that it was cracked up to be.
The second verse says:
Did faith let me down
Or did I not have enough?
That distinction is tough
Still, I thought your hands
Protected me from the fall
Did you mean that at all?
I Thought the things you said would turn out true
Was it even you I listened to?
I thought if I believed enough that I would fly
Joseph Smith rephrases this sentiment in D&C 121: 1 and 6, which reads: “O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covered thy hiding place? Remember thy suffering saints, O our God.” When going through trials, many of us question our faith; whether we have enough or if it let us down. I felt this as I was struggling with my testimony and whether I should really serve a mission if I had such doubts. I didn’t see just how much God’s hands were truly there. My friend used an analogy in one of her talks at BYU that has stuck with me. She said when seeking revelation or guidance, God usually uses cotton balls opposed to hammers. It’s much harder to feel a cotton ball being thrown at you than a hammer, and thankfully less painful. But it’s even harder to see and feel those cotton balls of guidance when our backs are turned. Eventually I started to truly look for the cotton balls in my life. Though it was still hard, I began to realize and remember little miracles that God knew I needed to keep me going and reassure me that a mission was where I needed to be. One such little miracle happened on the day I got my mission call. My sister and I went into the gazebo by the Provo city center temple for me to open it privately before a bigger opening that night. We had just found out that my grandma was in the hospital, so we were already emotional. There was only one other person there besides us and I remember feeling something special about this stranger. After I read my mission call out loud, the girl told me that she had served in that exact mission! It was cool to hear in that moment and especially after because God knew that little experience was what I needed to be comforted in my decision. The temple also became a huge help as I received personal revelation about many specific aspects of my mission that have further reassured me that at least one person there needs me and my unique experiences to bring them closer to Christ. I have seriously questioned many times whether I should still serve a mission despite these experiences, and up to maybe a week ago, I still felt unsure, but these simple and small miracles had a huge impact on me and my commitment to dive deeper into God’s plan. I still had doubts, but my hope and relationship with Christ was increasing. However, I still didn’t feel like I was flying and if I couldn’t fly, the jump would be terrifying.
The second to last part of the song says:
Air is rushing past, and I can barely see
Seems like this fall will be the death of me
In a second now, the ground will come to take me home
Suddenly, a peace that I cannot explain
Feels like the wind is running through my veins
Oh, and all that I can do is close my eyes as you lift me up
You lift me up
I know that God has always been there for me and that he loves and cares for all of us and our choices. I have felt the most comfort through Jesus Christ after the hardest and lowest times and I can honestly say that my unique struggles have helped me trust and come closer to Christ. My doubts and questions forced me to break down my faith so that I could build it up stronger. The peace described in these lyrics is so tangible that when one experiences it, there can be no doubt. This is the peace I hope I can help others experience. I remember very special times, good and bad, when I felt this peace, especially recently with my grandma who I believe is serving her own special mission in heaven alongside me. After Joseph Smith’s desperate plea for Gods help, Heavenly Father offers this well-known calm and comfort:
7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment.
8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes. (Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8)
God may not always offer answers or solutions, especially with the tumult of opinion these days, but he will always, always provide comfort and peace to help us get through and learn from our decisions. He gives the ability to conquer our foes in whatever form they take. In one of my own desperate pleas for help and guidance recently during one of my spirals of uncertainty, I heard these words echoing in my mind: “I love you in or out” In that moment it really hit me that God loves me whether I’m in this church or out of it, in success and failure, in faith or unbelief. This truly unconditional love brought me to be even more devoted to this gospel because I know that His love for all of us, no matter our views, is what this church teaches. We make covenants and promises because we trust and love Him back. I thought about my grandma reuniting with my grandpa in heaven after a difficult and joyful life as I heard the last part of the song:
All that I know now is sky and cloud
Don't know when my feet last touched the ground
You said if I believed enough, I would fly.
I will close with saying that we need the falls just as much as being able to fly. Adam fell that men might be and we are that we might have joy. Joy. Life is a journey in which we need to struggle and grow as we travel through it trusting God. I am super stoked to share the joy I have in Christ with others who want to feel that same happiness, whether they share all my beliefs or not. I hope to grow in many more unique ways as I serve and learn from the perspectives of those I teach and serve alongside. I don’t want to just bring converts; I want to bring friends and sinners and strugglers to this gospel because that is what it’s all about. In or out, God loves us and wants us to find Him, His truth, and our ultimate joy. Struggles and uncertainty can bring us closer to Heavenly Father in new and stronger ways if we let Him in and come to know ourselves more clearly.
I am so incredibly grateful for my family, ward family, and friends that have led me to where I am today. Y’all, as southerners would say, have really taught me so much and I couldn’t be speaking without all your examples and guidance. Many of you have lifted me up in ways you could never know, and I hope I can pass that on to others. To my parents and family, I love you so much and I am especially thankful for you being with me throughout my entire life, the good and bad, big and small. As 1 John 4:18 states: There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear. I have felt your perfect love teach me courage, hard work, kindness, and much more. I will take this love to those in South Carolina and hopefully, in return, maybe I can come back with that awesome southern accent!
(Testimony) In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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